Leaving home for university is a challenging task, filled with excitement but also fear. Will you make friends? Will you like your course, your university? Will you make it out there or will you have to come back home because you don’t fit in? These are all questions that run through a student’s mind as they are getting ready to leave. This process is made even harder if they also have a boyfriend or girlfriend at home. Suddenly a brand new question manifests – should you stay with your partner while you’re at university, or should you call it off? If you happen to find yourself in this position, then this article is for you.
Consider whether you are happy in the relationship
Now more than ever is the time for some soul searching. Maybe your bae was the perfect fit for you back home but when you get to university the rules of the game can change. You’ll meet so many new people that if you are not completely satisfied in your current relationship, you’ll soon be looking for that in someone else. Ask yourself if you can see your relationship lasting 3 or more years. If the answer is wholeheartedly yes, then give it a go. Be aware though because even if you might be completely content with your partner, if they don’t share the same sentiment then they could very well go looking for something more at their university.
Ask yourself if you can do long distance
Unless you’re going to university in your hometown, it might be worthwhile to ask yourself if you can commit to a long distance relationship. In case you were wondering, long distance entails seeing your partner virtually on Skype, lots of hour long phone calls, and no cuddles. Like, at all. You may think that you guys will visit each other all the time, but work, money and deadlines all have a different idea. Be prepared for your partner to start feeling more like your pen pal, or a character on a video game that you play with often but is not real. If you do think that you and your loved one can manage long distance, check out my other article, “How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work at University’.
Consider the reality that it will be harder to adjust to life at university
It’s never easy to start a new life. Nevertheless, if you’re the guy or girl who’s always Skyping their bae while everyone else is out meeting each other and having fun, you have a problem! It will be a lot harder to integrate with everybody else when set friend groups have already been established and you don’t want to be left on the outside. It may seem tempting to talk to a familiar face all the time but it doesn’t do you any favours when it comes to making new friends. There’s also the fact that if you stay with your significant other you’re going to be missing them a lot, which is going to make your homesickness even worse. In short, it may take you much longer than it usually would to adjust to uni.
Make sure your partner is on the same page
It’s no use for you to want to continue the relationship while your partner is secretly already taking bets with their friends on how many people they’re going to hook up with during freshers week. Vice versa, you may be dying to leave home and finally be single while your partner is already making wedding plans in their head. Neither scenario is going to work out well, you have to talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend to figure out what you both want and what is best for the relationship. If you do decide to go the distance, then it will be that much more special if both of you are invested in making the relationship work.
You’re young and you have your whole life ahead of you, at the end of the day the decisions that you make at this point in your life are not as life altering as you may think. If you’re crazy for your partner then give the relationship a go but chances are this is not the person you’ll end up marrying. So don’t feel bad if you end up meeting someone who’s even more compatible. You and your lover are both trying to figure your lives out and where you both fit in eachother’s lives. However it’s okay to come to the realisation that you may not fit well anymore. People change and university is the period of time where most adolescents come one step closer to finding themselves. Maybe you’ll find that you and your partner have become completely different people, or maybe you’ll find that you’ve become even more compatible. Either one is okay and there’s only one way to find out!
Do you think people should stay with their partners from home during university? Double tap if you agree, comment if you don’t! (@unilovers.co.uk)